Handling Disappointment

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Parent help is one of the highlights of my week. I enjoy going in my son’s class to aid his teacher and other school staff. I enjoy working in a different school environment as a chaplain. And I loved helping in my daughters’ courses when they were kids too.

It strikes me, the more I am involved with school surroundings, just how holistic education is. It’s not only about the academic work or the’formative’ years. There’s very much a social dimension to instruction which carries through beyond college, even, hesitant as I say this, into life as a 50-year-old. We are always learning.

I was reminded of this as I watched my child interact in a class session on the mat. I found myself in his disappointment.

‘It’s what it is, son. Acknowledge it and move on.’

That is what I felt I heard God say to my spirit. It was both a private Word from my God to me, His child, in my disappointments, and from me to my son, as I agreed fully with the fact God showed me in his disappointment.

It’s inescapable. And we always feel as if we have been hard-done-by. If we are not careful disappointment grows legs and runs full tilt toward bitterness and headlong to the eventual’decoration’ of resentment.

As a five-year-old the disappointment seems obvious on the face, a heart that’s momentarily rejected, but they look quickly to get over it. But on a fifty-year-old that disappointment is often hidden in an’Oh, I’ll be fine… it’s really fine…’ when sometimes my soul is actually saying,’Gee, that hurt!’ And,’If I’m honest, I am stunned!’

The point is disappointment stings. We don’t expect not to get our way. And it reinforces feelings of injustice (‘it’s not fair!’) Or one of a range of other not-so-good feelings and attributions.

Two things we can do about disappointment: 1) acknowledge it occurred; we felt the sting of disappointment, and that that is okay, without judging it, and 2) Do Rats Have Bones, proceed. That’s right, we simply move on. We don’t offer the disappointment that communicates any more attention than it deserves.

I didn’t like it when it happened, but I am not going to let it define me.

Hard as it is, when disappointment occurs, it’s best to acknowledge it hurts, take guts to sense it, learn what you can, then let go and proceed.

Infertility

Pregnant, Pregnancy, Mom, Child, Woman

So many things in life require time and endurance. Occasionally we let go of particular hopes or dreams as it is not realistic, whilst there are others who are worth holding on to. The desire and need to keep going becomes a part of your character but if you are not born with this, how can you train your mind to never give up.

As kids, we just want the easy way or the fast means to be the sole and better way. Some parents make things easier for their children so that they don’t learn to await something they want so they do not know to be patient. As soon as they’re grown up and find themselves in real life, they find themselves bumping heads with people because patience isn’t their strong point.

As an adult you can train your mind to keep going in the face of hardship. It’s not simple but it’s possible. Firstly, you’ll need to make up your mind to do this. It needs to be a priority to never give up on a specific dream. Daily say to yourself that you won’t give up and you will keep going no matter what happens.

Surround yourself with positive people who encourage you and avoid any person who tells you it is impossible. These negative people may change your mind and what you will need to do most is to get a clear focus on the target.

Write your goal down or create a fantasy board with images to illustrate what you’re hoping for.

Do your research and discover how you can reach your dream. A dream is only a dream if it’s not supported with a strategy. Implement your plan by way of a detailed strategy. When you have the ability to tick off a measure after it’s been completed you’ll feel a sense of achievement.

If your aim is to have a baby and you determine that infertility is a reality, it does not mean you ought to give up at that point. See a fertility doctor, find out what’s causing the infertility and think about fertility therapy choices. Write his explanation, the plan and the goal. It takes time to attain your target, but don’t quit.

BioART Fertility Centre provides a exceptional experience in fertility treatment. Each and every individual is treated as a exceptional couple with individual problems and needs. We combine a dignified and compassionate approach with innovative, innovative reproductive technologies.

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