Polite or Scared?
Have you observed, or become a participant, in a scenario where one party to a dialogue totally dominated it, often appearing to care to listen, or to honor the other party’s point of view or opinion? Maybe you have pondered or considered whether the dominated party was acting in a polite fashion, or just was being what many people would call a wimp, or somebody without either the self assurance or internal fortitude to stand up for himself and to speak out for what he believes in? A lot people become confused by the often fine line between the two behaviours, and the truth is that not many people will ever confess to being wimps.
1. While we might have differences of opinion, that’s never an excuse for behaving like a bully, or others. Others might feel as passionately about their points of views as we believe about ours, and even though we have the right (and often the responsibility) to disagree, we must maintain respect and equity during our discussions. Just as the majority of us proclaim our outrage when bullying occurs in pre – adolescents and adolescent relationships, trying to bulldoze our thoughts through unfair and uncaring treatment of anybody else, is not a suitable behavior.
2. Nobody will ever respect anybody unwilling or not able to stand up for their beliefs, and if you get rid of the esteem of others, you always lose your effectiveness also. It’s therefore critical that you speak your mind and have the courage of your own convictions, while not overreacting by resorting to namecalling, blaming, or disrespecting anybody else. When we have self confidence, we keep our capability to defend ourselves, and discern when it’s time and critical to counter someone else’s perspective. Far too often, people hide behind their own anxieties, and make an effort to disguise or sofa those anxieties and insecurities by claiming we’re being polite and respectful. However, it’s not polite to refuse Bat Removal to keep the essential gumption to stand up for yourself and your strongest beliefs.
Do not forget that nobody ever respects a wimp! We all owe ourselves the private and introspective self esteem that only comes out of how we act.